


i love you (but i hate your friends)

by seochangbin



Series: i think i love you! [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Boys Kissing, Casual Sex, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Friends With Benefits, Hand Jobs, Heartbreak, Love Confessions, M/M, Oral Sex, Parties, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Strangers to Lovers, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, lixie's crush on chan is crushed im so sorry baby, slowburn kinda!!, uni au ish???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:54:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24001663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seochangbin/pseuds/seochangbin
Summary: Felix shakes it off, realising his eyes are on a figure in Chan’s hallway. His dark red hair was messy and stuck up in a couple of different places, and his sweater was hastily tucked into his khakis. His lips a rosy pink and cheeks flushed, the mystery boy flashes Felix a shy smile before he excuses himself, shutting the door quietly.“Hey, it’s my favourite guy,” Chan says, joining Felix on the couch. He’s wearing a band tee and sweats, leaning into Felix’s smaller body.Felix appreciates the warmth of Chan’s body against his, getting a little giddy at the contact, but it doesn’t sate his curiosity. “Who was that, hyung?”“Oh, Seungmin? Just a friend of mine,” Chan dismisses.
Relationships: Kim Seungmin/Lee Felix
Series: i think i love you! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733851
Comments: 35
Kudos: 351





	i love you (but i hate your friends)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [linoeum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/linoeum/gifts).



> this. my precious baby of a fic. i've been working on this for over a month and i'm so glad it's finished.
> 
> i'm sure the explicit tag + all the sex tags say it all, but they have A LOT of sex, once without a condom but have safe sex wrap it up n we're all good homies
> 
> this au is created by and dedicated to my lovely friend sinthe! he allowed me to write this monster of a fic with her au!! i love him to the ends of the earth and i hope all of you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing!! 
> 
> chanlixers, i apologise in advance

“Hyung?” Felix calls out, letting himself into Chan’s apartment. Tonight was movie night, and he’d brought Chinese takeout and cheap beer for them to get shitfaced off of. He couldn’t wait. “I’m here!”

A loud thump comes from Chan’s bedroom, startling the younger. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine! Give me a second. I’ll be right out!” Chan calls back. Felix just laughs. Classic Chan. Always a goofball, loveable and the guy who would always make him laugh. His closest friend. The man he’s been in love with for at least a year now. 

They’d met when Chan was assigned to be his buddy at uni, introducing him to the campus and its facilities on his first day. They’d instantly clicked, backgrounds too similar for them to pass up on becoming friends. Chan was there for him as he’d tried to assimilate to uni life in Korea, days upon days of crying because it was so hard to talk to people. But Chan was there, practically the only person who’d reminded him of home, and Felix could never be more grateful, even though Chan’s third year was hectic with finishing up projects and finals. He’d been there when Chan wouldn’t take care of himself during finals, knowing Chan would do the same for him. 

Slowly but surely, over the meals together and nights of sleeping over in Chan’s bed, Felix had fallen for him. Fuck. 

Felix shakes it off, realising his eyes are on a figure in Chan’s hallway. His dark red hair was messy and stuck up in a couple of different places, and his sweater was hastily tucked into his khakis. His lips a rosy pink and cheeks flushed, the mystery boy flashes Felix a shy smile before he excuses himself, shutting the door quietly.

“Hey, it’s my favourite guy,” Chan says, joining Felix on the couch. He’s wearing a band tee and sweats, leaning into Felix’s smaller body. 

Felix appreciates the warmth of Chan’s body against his, getting a little giddy at the contact, but it doesn’t sate his curiosity. “Who was that, hyung?”

“Oh, Seungmin? Just a friend of mine,” Chan dismisses. “And you don’t have to call me hyung when it’s just us.” He switches back to English easily, a display of how comfortable he was around Felix. Or so he thought.

He elbows Chan’s side. “You know you can tell me if you’re getting some, right?” Felix’s tone is joking, but something doesn’t sit well in his gut as he says it. He leans forward, placing the takeout boxes on the coffee table. Handing a pair of chopsticks to Chan as they separate, Chan moves to the opposite end of the table to admire the spread. He already misses the warmth already. 

“It’s not like that! Seungmin just wanted me to teach him how to have sex.”

“What? He’s never-?” 

“He has! It’s just, he wanted to learn how to top,” Chan says, the faintest hint of shyness in his voice as he opens the takeout boxes, watching the steam rise from the piping hot dishes. 

“And he asked you, the biggest alpha dom top out there?” Felix raises an eyebrow curiously. 

Chan rolls his eyes. “I’m a switch, I’ll have you know. And I do like taking it up the ass sometimes,” He says as if he were talking about the weather, making Felix choke on the rice he’s shovelled into his mouth.

“Christ,” Felix lets out in a muffled cough, as Chan laughs at the reaction. 

“He’s just a friend, I promise. He’s been getting good at it too.”

God, they’ve been fucking for a while now? The thought makes Felix’s stomach churn, and he almost can’t bear to stomach the spread in front of them. 

“Huh,” Felix acknowledges. “At least you’re getting some.”

The grin on Chan’s grows wickedly, and Felix wants to slap himself for even saying it. “I’m telling you, Lixie,” Chan says, stuffing his mouth with sweet-and-sour pork. “I can hook you up with some cute gay guys. They’ll go to town on you, I swear.”

“Have you had sex with all your friends?” Felix squints, 

“Only some of them,” Chan admits with a cheesy wink. It shouldn’t make Felix’s stomach flutter, but it undeniably does. 

+

He doesn’t know anything about this Seungmin guy, other than the fact that he’s topped _his Channie_ (God, possessive much?) on more than one occasion. But seeing him with Chan just makes his stomach upset. He walks up to the pair, strides careful as he doesn’t want to disturb. But he totally does, listening in instead.

“Yeah, we don’t have to do it this week,” Chan nods understandingly. “But I’ll see you at Changbin’s party on Friday right?” 

“Yeah,” Seungmin’s voice is melodic and gentle, and his stature petite and dainty. He’s exactly Chan’s type. “I’ll see you on Friday.”

“Hey Channie!” Felix makes his presence known now, clinging to Chan’s arm, more of a show than anything. Still, he smiles politely at Seungmin. “What’s happening on Friday?”

“Changbin’s party, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to come.” Chan smiles at him, a look of realisation flashing on his face. “Right! I haven’t properly introduced you. This is Felix,” He gestures at him, “and this is Seungmin,” then to the other man. They nod and smile politely.

“Nice to meet you,” Seungmin says first, voice sweet. God, he’s such a suck-up.

“You too,” Felix says with his nicest voice, trying not to let the jealousy peek through.

“Well, I have a class in five. I’ll make a move first,” There’s an unsure lilt in his voice, glancing at him and Chan before he smiles and waves, walking off quickly in the opposite direction.

Felix and Chan both chime in ‘Bye’s as they watch Seungmin walk down the hallway. “Do you want me to pick you up before the party? We can go together.”

“So you can leave me in half an hour to flirt with another random guy?” 

Chan practically pouts, but doesn’t deny it. “Come on, Lixie. We can both get laid then we won’t have to worry about getting home till the next day.” 

“This is why we should be living together. So I can move out of my shitty accommodation and live with someone I actually like.”

“Not so you can take care of me after I’m wildly hungover or I can’t walk because my ass hurts?” Chan laughs. 

Felix elbows him in the ribs. “Yeah, totally not.”

“I’ll have to discuss with the landlord, Lixie, but I’ll try to work something out, okay?” Chan assures, messing up Felix’s hair affectionately. Felix only blows the hair out of his eyes with a disgruntled noise.

+

This might be Changbin’s party, but Felix makes sure he looks _good_. Mostly for Chan in the hopes that he’ll finally come to his senses and fuck him, but he’ll make do with whatever he can get. If he can get laid tonight then he’s not complaining. 

Felix doesn’t know if he imagines Chan’s eyes growing wide at the sight of him in his too-tight skinny jeans and a nice top that looks like it’ll rip if someone’s too rough with him, but he’d like to think so. Chan whistles when Felix climbs into the Uber he’d been waiting in. “Looking good, Lixie.”

“You too, hyung,” Felix says, trying to be nonchalant about the compliment. Chan’s wearing what he usually does -- all black, his t-shirt tucked stylishly into his jeans -- but he’s got eyeshadow and eyeliner on, and, “Is that lip gloss?”

“Maybe. I wanted to look hot today,” Chan huffs, folding his arms and looking out the window, cheeks flushed slightly. Fuck, he’s beautiful.

“ _You always look hot, hyung,_ ” He wants to say, but he opts for a simple “You do, so don’t worry. Anyone you’re trying to impress?” 

Chan lets his pout subside a little, knowing Felix isn’t going to tease him. So cute. He wants to kiss the pout off his face. “Not really,” Chan hums noncommittally, before he snaps out of it, back to his usual self. “But you definitely seem like it.”

Felix scoffs and waves Chan off with a hand. “Just wanted to look nice. Might score today, too. We’ll see.” 

Chan laughs, relaxing in the backseat and Felix does the same. Chan reaches for Felix’s hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “We’ll see, Lixie,” He says, not letting go of Felix’s hand. 

Felix’s mind races. What is Chan trying to say? His heart beats wildly at their intimate contact, and he hopes it’s not loud enough for Chan to hear. He pushes the thoughts away into the recesses of his mind, not wanting to think about it now. He should just enjoy tonight.

Chan and Felix are practically bombarded as they make their way into the house -- the stench of hard liquor, the low thump of the bass of someone’s party playlist, and the buzz of people chatting, growing ever louder. 

They say hi to Changbin, who leads them into the kitchen for drinks. They watch as a guy named Minho, one of Chan’s good friends, does a body shot off of Hyunjin, one of Changbin’s best friends. They’ve met for drinks before, and Hyunjin seems to be a pretty good dancer too. Hyunjin clambers off the kitchen island, nearly knocking over a bowl of chips and a glass, and greets him and Chan cheerfully. The two men, along with Changbin, proceed to get Chan and Felix wasted, having them do shot after shot till Felix’s head begins to feel hazy. He’s not necessarily a lightweight, even though Chan certainly is, but the liquor has definitely done its damage.

Some time in the middle of it, Seungmin joins them, and says his hellos politely in his gentle, soothing voice. Chan, now sluggish from all the alcohol in his system, hugs Seungmin almost too enthusiastically, clinging onto Seungmin’s slender figure. Felix seethes with jealousy at the sight, but he isn’t drunk enough to say anything about it. Who wears a fucking sweater to a party? 

Chan’s eventually dragged off by Hyunjin into the main area, mouthing a small ‘sorry’ despite the lack of reluctance on his face as the two presumably go to dance. Felix isn’t surprised, not really, that Chan’s leaving him alone like this. He isn’t in the mood to join Chan and Hyunjin, his stomach feeling a little sick from seeing Chan cling to Seungmin so eagerly. He grabs a beer from the fridge, sitting down by the counter in hopes of willing his nausea away.

Speak of the Devil.

“Hey Felix, you don’t look so good,” Seungmin says, holding onto his arm.

Felix swats Seungmin’s hand away, wanting to get the hell away from Seungmin, but loses his balance as he stands up to move. Seungmin holds his steady, coaxing him back into the bar stool he was sitting on. “Shuddup,” Felix slurs, slumping back into his seat reluctantly. Seungmin gives him a look that Felix can’t put his finger on, taking a sip from his Coke. 

“Don’t laugh at me,” Felix says in a prickly tone, squinting at Seungmin who has a small smile on his face. 

“I wasn’t,” Seungmin assures in an airy giggle, watching Felix fiddle with his chair, then the label on his beer before he takes another swig. “So, how do you know Channie?” He asks, after an awkward moment of silence.

_Channie_ . Seungmin using _his_ nickname for Chan makes him bubble with anger. 

“He’s basically my best friend,” Felix starts, blinking quickly. “I’ve known him for more than a year, and he’s like a big brother to me.”

Seungmin looks surprised. “So you aren’t dating?”

Ouch. Way to rub it in. “You’re fucking him, shouldn’t you know?” Felix laments bitterly, almost too loudly, drawing stares from a couple of other drunk people looking for another drink. “But no, we’re just friends, if you must know.”

Felix huffs before he drinks some more from his beer, chugging down the slightly lukewarm remainder. He puts the now empty bottle down with a loud clink, groaning loudly as he goes to grab another beer. 

“Felix? I don’t think you should be drinking anymore. You had a lot of shots earlier too, how about you-”

“Why aren’t you drinking, huh? Too much of a prude to drink? Don’t want to let your perfect little image get ruined?” Felix spits sluggishly, mind hazy as he tosses away all his inhibitions.

“That’s not-”

He hears catcalls and cheering from the living room now, finding his opportunity to escape from Seungmin’s semi-awkward socialising. Fuck Seungmin. “Whatever,” He dismisses Seungmin quickly, hurrying to catch the action, stumbling to and fro.

And then, amidst the crowd of heads, he sees it. 

Chan’s sucking face with Hyunjin on the couch, uncaring of their surroundings. The sour smell of alcohol makes Felix’s nose scrunch up, the feeling prickling in the back of his throat as his eyes tear up. He watches in horrified shock as Chan practically grinds down on Hyunjin right there, too wasted to process his actions now. Fuck.

He stumbles into the hallway, cradling his head in his hands as he sinks to the floor. He feels sick to his stomach, the sight of the man he dare say he _loves,_ making out with another man on a couch in the middle of a bunch of drunk party-goers.

He wipes his tears away with the heels of his palm as his stomach churns, prompting him to crawl weakly over to the bathroom to latch onto the toilet, shutting the door with a gentle click despite his frustration. His cheeks are wet with tears as he gags, bile rising and burning the back of his throat. He heaves and heaves but nothing comes up, leaving him with nothing better to do than curling into himself as he rests his head on his knee. The thought of Chan coming in to take care of him flashes through his mind momentarily, but it just makes his eyes prickle with tears as he remembers Chan’s too… occupied to tend to him right now.

There’s a sudden knock on the door. “Felix?” He hears Seungmin’s distinct, sweet voice, and it makes him want to hurl. Seungmin opens the door gently, eyes wide as he sees Felix collapsed on the floor. “Shit, are you okay?”

“Peachy,” Felix groans, voice hoarse from almost throwing up so many times. Now he has to deal with this headache manifested into a person right next to him? Fuck this. “Leave me alone.”

“Nope,” Seungmin says, urging Felix to sit upright as he rubs at his back. “You’ll feel better after throwing up.” Felix sighs heavily, bent over the toilet now. He chokes on a sob. Why couldn’t Chan be here to do this for him? 

Eventually Felix gets some of it out of his system, and feels just a little sorry for Seungmin having to watch him puke his guts out. His head throbs, and Felix just wants to crawl into a hole right now. The bathroom lights are too bright. He just wants to go home. 

“Alright, we’re going,” Seungmin proclaims, as if he could read Felix’s mind. He helps Felix up and steadies him, Felix not being in the mood to protest or push him away anymore. 

Chan stumbles into them in the hallway. “Where are you two heading? Saw you run into the bathroom, Lix.” His words are slurred, clearly drunk out of his mind.

“I like you, Channie. No, I love you. I’ve loved you for like, a year,” Felix admits suddenly, unbothered by the consequences of his confession. Seungmin’s eyes widen comically, knowing this really isn’t the time.

Chan blinks slowly, processing Felix’s words. “You’re my little bro, Felix. I like Hyunjin. Didn’t you see me making out with him earlier?”

Ouch. Even in his drunken stupor, Felix can tell it’s time to leave, not wanting to cry in front of Chan. He trudges away, Seungmin tagging along to keep him steady. He appreciates that Seungmin says nothing as he helps him into the passenger seat of his car and buckles him in. 

Felix stares out his window and watches the lights that illuminate the pavement pass by, too pent up and upset to say much, except “Where are we going? You don’t even know where I live.”

Seungmin shrugs in the corner of his eye. “I don’t think you’re going to tell me,” Seungmin states, and Felix nods in affirmation, “so we can just head to my place. I need to make sure you don’t wake up in a pool of your own vomit tomorrow morning.”

Felix hums noncommittally, letting the steady rock of the car lull his heavy eyelids shut as they drive the rest of the way. 

“Why’d you tell Chan earlier?” Seungmin asks, handing a change of clothes to Felix as he peels off his outfit, sticky from sweat. They’re in Seungmin’s apartment’s bathroom, the stench of sweat, puke and alcohol filling up the tiny space too prominently. He’d thrown up after the car ride, barely making it into the apartment before having to run to the bathroom to throw up again.

Felix’s head throbs hard as he tries to come up with a coherent answer, standing up as he flushes the toilet. “I don’t know.” He snatches the neatly folded clothes from Seungmin’s outstretched hand. “Wasn’t thinking it through.”

“I don’t think he was either, with that response.”

“You think you know him so well just because you’re fucking him?” Felix slurs bitterly, uncaring of Seungmin’s presence as he strips completely and puts on Seungmin’s clothes. The t-shirt he handed him is soft and baggy on his petite figure, but he appreciates the comfort and ignores the fact that it’s from the guy he hates. “Well, maybe you do.”

“We both know I don’t.” Seungmin exhales through his nose amusedly. “I don’t know everything about Chan, but he’s a nice guy and I think he’ll be sweet about it if you talk to him about it again.” 

“Fuck you,” Felix says with finality, leaning over the sink to rinse the sour taste of bile out of his mouth. “Can we go to sleep now? I don’t want to talk anymore.”

Seungmin nods silently, leading Felix to the bedroom. Felix climbs into the bed mindlessly, settling back comfortably against the pillows. But the bed doesn't sink next to him, and his brain doesn’t compute. “Where are you sleeping?” 

He hears a cupboard door shut. Turning around, having kept to half of the double bed, he sees Seungmin with a couple of pillows and a blanket in his arms. “On the floor,” he states simply.

“There’s loads of space on the bed, Seungmin.” 

Seungmin seems a little stunned, the first time Felix’s addressed him by his name the whole night, but Felix’s brain is too fuzzy to notice. Still, Seungmin shakes his head. “Don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” Seungmin says curtly, setting his sleeping situation up. Felix wants to protest, let Seungmin sleep next to him in the bed, but this isn’t a sappy cliche rom-com. If Seungmin’s letting him sleep in his bed, he sure as hell is going to take it. So, Felix says nothing, follows Seungmin’s slightly blurry figure to the light switch. 

“Goodnight, Felix,” Seungmin says simply, before flipping the switch. Darkness swathes the room in a second, and Felix feels alone in the unfamiliar bed, snuggling into the soft sheets until he hears Seungmin shuffling under his own blankets next to him. 

He says nothing. 

+

When he wakes up, it’s to the incessant throbbing in his head and an almost painful erection. He doesn’t know what to do, when he’s in someone else’s bed and in his clothes. Seungmin’s nowhere to be seen, blankets folded neatly and pillows nicely stacked on the floor next to the bed.

He could get off right now. 

He should get off right now.

Maybe he’s still a little drunk, unsure of what in God’s name compels him to pull boxers that aren’t his -- Jesus, Seungmin even lent him underwear? -- past the swell of his ass, letting his morning wood spring free. 

He settles back comfortably against the pillows his head laid upon mere minutes ago, reaching over to the bedside table to wad up tissues in his hand. If Felix is going to jerk off in a stranger’s bed, the least he can do is clean up his own mess. 

Hissing as he finally lays a hand on himself, he delights in the delicious pressure of his own hand working his cock, twisting his wrist with the up-down motions steadily, eyes fluttering shut with the sensation. He isn’t sure of what got him so worked up in the first place, but he lets his mind drift as his cock dribbles precum, eager for release. 

Felix’s thoughts gravitate toward Chan, as they always do, only to be rudely interrupted by his conscience as he remembers last night’s events. Right. 

His cock softens a little, not enough to render his efforts fruitless, but makes him frustrated at the lack of jack-off material. What is he supposed to do now?

The door clicks open, Seungmin swinging it open hastily. “Hey, I got us breakfast-” 

Felix is frozen in his spot as Seungmin stares at him, cock in his hand and unmoving. The latter squeaks, shutting the door as quickly as he’d opened it. “Jesus Christ, I know I said to make yourself comfortable, but I didn’t think you’d take it that far,” Seungmin says, shock lacing his voice. “When you’re…. done, feel free to take a shower, then you can join me for breakfast. I got McDonald’s for that hangover of yours.”

Felix doesn’t say anything, can’t say anything. He waits for Seungmin’s footsteps to trail off, before he contemplates what the fuck just happened. Contemplates Seungmin’s almost horrified stare, how his cock twitched, and twitches again as he thinks about it now. He hasn’t gone soft at all, so he takes that as permission to continue. 

Seungmin’s arms, exposed in his sleeveless top, are surprisingly muscular. No wonder he’d basically been able to manhandle him in and out of the car last night, and through the masses of people at Changbin’s party and into his own apartment. 

Okay, weird. Felix shrugs it off, his hand starting up again at a faster pace, unable to get the image of strong arms tossing him around in bed, muscles flexing as they jerk him off, or slender fingers buried deep inside him-

Oh. That was quick. His release is sticky in the tissues he’d came in, thanking pre-jerk-off Felix for thinking beforehand as he wads the tissues up in his hands. He pulls his bottoms back on, and makes his way to the bathroom, making sure to look around for a stray Seungmin that may be lurking around. Seungmin’s already walked in on him jerking it. He’d appreciate privacy in the bathroom at least. 

He tosses the tissues into the bin under the sink, noticing the neatly folded new set of clothes on the counter. Felix strips off the clothes from last night and tosses them into Seungmin’s laundry basket. He notes the new towel hanging on the door handle for him before stepping in. 

Felix wastes no time in scrubbing the grime of last night and this morning’s endeavours, appreciating Seungmin’s grapefruit-scented body soap as the smell of citrus fills the room. He showers quickly, not wanting to waste too much of Seungmin’s precious hot water, towelling off and getting dressed. 

The smell of grease hits his nose as he walks into Seungmin’s living area, finally taking a good look at the place. Spacious and comfortable, Felix wonders how Seungmin can afford this as he sits across from Seungmin at the table. 

The spread of food is near-intimidating, boxes stacked atop boxes, and a metric fuckton of hashbrowns sits in the middle. “I don’t know how much you’d want to eat,” Seungmin admits sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

Felix is a little enamoured. “Don’t worry, I’m starving.” He punctuates his words with a small smile, already starting on one of the breakfast sandwiches. 

Seungmin scarfs down a hashbrown in just a few bites, before he leaves again, disappearing down the hallway. Felix shrugs, starting to make a dent in the food. The red-haired man slides him a sleeve of painkillers and his phone, going into the kitchen to pour him a glass of water. 

“I charged your phone,” Seungmin says casually. “Do you want anything else? Coffee?”

Felix denies the offer, checking the texts that flood his screen. The most recent two particularly catch his eye. 

  
  


**Minho**

_yo we saw you leave with that literature major last night. did u get some? text me asap_

**Chan**

_saw u leave with seung last night. hope ur safe, text me when u can._

  
  


Chan. Fuck. Not to mention Chan’s four calls from last night, probably having left drunk, rambly voicemails for him.

Seungmin sets his glass of water next to him, drinking out of his own glass of milk. Felix looks at him. “Did we do anything last night?”

Seungmin looks amused. “No, the only sexual thing that’s happened in my bed since you got here is you jerking off this morning.”

Felix feels mildly embarrassed. Then, the next question leaves his mouth. “You’re a literature major? Then how do you know Chan?”

The other man seems to ponder momentarily, before shrugging. “I think we have a couple of mutual friends. I’ve seen him around, mostly.” 

Why is he trying to get to know Seungmin? He’s too confused, from yesterday’s rejection, and Seungmin taking care of him so Felix has no valid reason to be a dick to him anymore -- he just eats his food quietly. Seungmin does the same, the silence a little awkward and only filled with the sounds of their chewing, but Felix doesn’t really know how to make conversation with the man he’d practically hated a couple of days ago. He’d even slept in his bed.

When they’re finally done, Felix helps Seungmin clean up. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” Felix says all of a sudden. 

“What for?” 

Felix sighs. “For being a bitch to you, and making you take care of me. And for sleeping in and jerking off in your bed.”

Seungmin huffs amusedly. “Don’t worry about it, Felix. Just here to help.”

His phone buzzes again, screen lighting up on the dining table. It’s a call from Chan. Felix lets it ring till the call ends. 

The red-haired man sighs. “You’re not going to talk to him?”

“Nope,” Felix says quickly. “Not gonna deal with that. He called me four times yesterday, Seungmin. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“He cares about you. At least let him know you’re alright,” Seungmin pouts concernedly. 

Felix hesitates. “Can you tell him?” Their eyes meet.

“Yeah, I will. Have a seat, you don’t have to leave yet.”

They settle it with Chan quickly, the elder thanking Seungmin profusely with a copious number of texts. Felix sighs in relief, glad that it’s over, and glad that he doesn’t have to face Chan for a little longer. 

“Do you want me to drive you home?” Seungmin offers, catching himself and continuing, “I mean, only if you want to. I know it’s weird but I’m not busy till later and I just wanted to offer.”

Felix is pleasantly taken aback. “Sure, Seungmin. That’d be great.” 

Felix gathers all his things as he gets ready to leave, wanting to change out of Seungmin’s clothes but can’t with how his clothes from last night reek of alcohol -- Seungmin insists Felix go home in his clothes anyways. They hop into Seungmin’s car, roads becoming more familiar as they approach the university.

“I’ve never seen you around. I didn’t know you went to SNU until recently,” Felix admits, only for Seungmin to quirk an eyebrow curiously. 

“We’re in completely different faculties, Felix. The business and liberal arts lectures are practically on opposite ends of campus,” Seungmin says. Felix supposes that makes sense. 

The rest of the drive is quiet, as Felix turns the events of the past 24 hours over and over in his mind. He… doesn’t hate Seungmin anymore. He’d found him attractive, at some point. His crush on Chan was crushed, so helplessly, under Chan’s own heel. Jesus.

Seungmin pulls up in the dorm parking lots and they exchange goodbyes, as Felix gets out of Seungmin’s car with a weird feeling in his gut.

+

He can’t find the words to speak to Chan, after thoroughly embarrassing himself in front of him at the party. He hasn’t opened Chan’s message from the morning after, or any of his messages afterward -- checking up on him or asking if he’d wanted to come over to hang out. 

So, when Chan approaches him in the hallway, Felix’s panicking does him no good, because he really has no escape. Chan’s face immediately softens as he finally meets Felix’s eyes. “How have you been, Lix?”

“Fine,” Felix says quietly. “I’m sorry for being weird recently, and not answering your texts.”

He doesn’t know why he’s apologising. Chan had been so tactless in rejecting him -- granted, he was drunk, but it still stung. 

“No, I should apologise. I’m sorry for how I acted at the party, that was really shitty of me.”

“I didn’t think you’d remember anything, honestly,” Felix says, mostly to himself. “How are things with Hyunjin?”

Chan clearly blushes at the younger man’s name. “Working on it. It’s kinda complicated, you know Hyunjin.” He did. Hyunjin always insisted on getting things right in dance practice, not relenting until it was perfect, and Felix assumes he’s the same with relationships. Felix nods understandingly. 

“What about you and Seungmin?” Chan asks now, and Felix almost chokes on his spit.

“What about him?”

“We all saw you go home with him, Lix. Did anything happen?” Chan says, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Felix laughs, shoving Chan playfully, glad that they’re back to their old ways despite the residual sting. “Not even, I was way too drunk for anything to happen. He took care of me though.”

“He took you back to the dorms?”

Felix shakes his head. “No, slept in his bed. He bought me breakfast too.”

Chan gives him a look. “You really didn’t do anything with him?”

_Well, jacking off in his bed doesn’t count, so,_ “No,” Felix affirms, shaking his head. 

+

After Chan’s rejection, Felix’s dreams have all been _really fucking_ weird. The first couple of times, he wakes up with tears running down his cheeks in a cold sweat, with all sorts of situations his brain puts him in where Chan breaks his heart in all sorts of ways. 

Then, almost a week after that, he wakes up with a semi, damp boxers and in a cold sweat. Snapping awake to the thought of him and Chan getting freaky in all sorts of ways, only to remember that there’s no hoping for it to be a reality anymore. It happens everyday for a week. The latter frustrates him a lot more, because he has to deal with it before he gets to class, and Felix is anything but a morning person.

He’s embarrassed to admit that he’s gotten off to fantasizing about Chan almost too many times, and the heartbreak’s put him off of masturbating in general. So now he’s just expected to jerk it to a guy he can’t look at the same? Or even worse, no one in particular? Now that’s a little much. 

He’d usually take a cold shower to calm himself down, but he’s too tired of giving himself blue-balls for the past week. Too tired of feeling his heart ache from his morning-wood-inducing dreams, he sighs as he pulls his dick past the waistband of his boxers. 

He shifts around uncomfortably in bed, finally gripping his cock in his hand. He tugs at it reluctantly, wanting to finally get off for the sake of waking him up a little, or getting him a little less cranky. His eyes flutter shut, feeling his legs getting hot under his blanket. Strong muscular arms flash in his mind. Muscles flexing, holding him down, fucking him roughly into the mattress. A warm smile, turning into a cocky grin. 

He touches himself more insistently now, precome leaking from the head making the slide easier. His heart stings, cursing himself for gravitating toward Chan yet again -- helplessly, hopelessly. But his hand doesn’t stop, can’t stop; he _needs_ this.

It doesn’t take too long for Felix to finally come, the whitish substance spattering onto his tanned stomach weakly. He tugs at his cock till he can’t come anymore, wipes himself off with a tissue and gets up to take a shower. 

He has Economics first thing, and he startles when Seungmin comes up and sits next to him. “Didn’t know you were in this class,” Felix says dumbly.

Seungmin shrugs. “I usually sit in the front, but you looked like you needed a friend. Besides, I doubt you’d have noticed me before we’d met.”

Felix hums simply, the two falling into silence as the lecturer clears her throat and starts up. They mostly keep to themselves, Felix enjoying the new company regardless as the professor drones on about… something. When she announces that they’ll have to pair up for a project, they look at each other knowingly, and Felix’s thankful that Seungmin’s sat next to him today.

Seungmin jabs Felix in the side. “Gimme your phone,” Seungmin says in a whisper. Ow.

“What for?” He whispers back.

“So we can discuss the project?” 

Right.

Seungmin just outstretches a hand and Felix gets his phone out of his pocket, letting Seungmin put his number in. Over Seungmin’s shoulder Felix sees he’s saved his contact simply as “Kim Seungmin” with a little puppy emoji. 

The professor dismisses them just in time, five minutes into his next lecture. “Shit, I gotta go. See you around, Seungmin.” 

Felix packs his stuff up quickly, waves the other man goodbye and hurries off. He smiles down at the saved contact once he’s in the next lecture hall, and opens up a new text to let Seungmin know it’s him. 

As much as Felix worries about being on time for lectures, he ends up using his phone, hiding behind the students in the couple of rows in front of him as he texts Seungmin. They decide to meet after the rest of their classes to head to Seungmin’s apartment, without saying much else other than a quick “see u ltr.”

+

“God, I’m so bored,” Felix complains, slumping back into Seungmin’s bed. 

“Told you not to work on my bed,” Seungmin calls back, too focused on copy-and-pasting something into their Google Slides presentation. “It’s magical, knock ya’ right out.” 

“But we’ve been working at this for like two hours, let’s take a break,” Felix whines, leg extending to kick the back of Seungmin’s chair, just enough to bug him. 

Seungmin clacks at his keyboard for a couple more minutes with Felix’s bugging, before closing it with a final motion. “Fine, what do you have in mind?”

Felix lights up, leaning over to pull his Switch out from his bag. Seungmin gives him a look, “I don’t do video games much, though.”

Felix grins, cracks his knuckles as he sets up the Switch and removes the controllers, handing the candy-blue one to Seungmin. “Means I’ll just wreck you then.”

“Oh, it’s on,” Seungmin replies, never one to back down, convincing Felix to give him a refresher on Smash Brothers Ultimate.

Round after round, Seungmin annihilates Felix at his own game, the latter finally bested by a rookie. With a cheeky grin, Seungmin taunts Felix, dodging when Felix goes to shove him. Felix jumps a little to tackle Seungmin, his spacious bed giving ample space for Felix to hold Seungmin down roughly. “You little shit, don’t mock me at my own game!” 

Seungmin laughs almost manically, his stronger stature easily flipping them over despite Felix putting his whole body into pushing Seungmin down. Now, Seungmin has Felix’s arms pinned down onto the mattress and weighs his lower half down with his own, rendering Felix motionless. “The student has bested his master, it seems,” Seungmin claims cockily. Felix tries to wiggle his way out of Seungmin’s grip, but to no avail. No matter how hard he tries to break free, he can’t get out. Their laughter and taunting eventually die down, and Seungmin begins to frown.

“What’s wrong?” Felix asks.

Seungmin glances down concerningly, but Felix’s doesn’t get it. Seungmin sighs, and deadpans, “Felix, your hard-on is digging into my thigh.”

“Fuck!” Felix panicks, Seungmin no longer weighing down on him so he can finally push him off. He pulls his sweater over his boner, turning away to face Seungmin’s drawers. “This is embarrassing, I didn’t even realise, I-”

“It’s fine,” Seungmin cuts him off. “I think it’s kinda hot.” 

Felix’s cheeks burn even hotter. What?

“Nope, nope, I did not just say that,” Seungmin curses, avoiding Felix’s curious gaze as he turns toward him.

“Seungmin?” Felix inquires, seeing the other man fretting with his head in his hands, and the erection straining in his jeans. “Seungmin, it’s okay, this isn’t weird.”

Felix crawls over, laying a gentle hand on Seungmin’s thigh. “ ‘s not weird unless we make it weird.”

“How would it not be weird, I-” Seungmin starts, but Felix grips Seungmin’s thigh tight, leaning up to kiss him briefly, a mere press of lips on lips. Seungmin’s eyes widen. 

“I’ve been really horny. Maybe this will be good for us,” Felix murmurs when they part. “Can I touch you?”

Seungmin nods dumbly, a soft ‘yes’ falling past his lips, and Felix’s hand snakes closer to the other man’s crotch, feeling up his crotch. He sighs with the pressure from Felix’s hand, kneading into him with insistence.

“Okay,” Seungmin says dumbly, as Felix shoves his hand down Seungmin’s sweats, feeling his small hand wrapped around his length. 

“You’re pretty big,” Felix notes casually, looking a little impressed, and that makes Seungmin’s cheeks burn up even more. Seungmin can’t stay still any longer, moving to kiss Felix as he touches him. Seungmin’s tongue insistently swipes at Felix’s plump lower lip, till the latter lets him enter his warm mouth. With one hand cupping Felix’s face, the other snakes up Felix’s loose t-shirt, brushing over his nipple.

Felix grunts into Seungmin’s mouth, body jerking positively. “You like that, huh?” Seungmin says against Felix’s lips, pinching the bud just as Felix grips his cock a little tighter. The two moan, hot breath mixing between them. Seungmin’s hand slides down to fondle him over his own jeans, the denim rough against his palm. It seems to be working though, with how he preens at his touch. 

“Fuck, get your pants off,” Felix nudges at Seungmin’s chest, forcing them apart as they hurriedly shrug their bottoms off. Felix doesn’t get shy when he’s horny, cock painfully hard and bobbing against his stomach. On the other hand, Seungmin seems terribly bashful as he pulls his pants and boxers off, the tip of his cock the almost the same shade as his cheeks.

Felix looks at him curiously, laughing under his breath, as he crawls over to cage Seungmin in. Seungmin’s eyes widen as Felix grips their cocks in his hand, barely able to grip the both of them fully. Felix gathers saliva in his mouth, before he spits on their cocks simply for an easier slide. Seungmin groans at the feeling, Felix’s spit running down his length. 

Felix bucks his hips, essentially fucking into his fist and sliding his length against Seungmin’s, making the bigger man shudder. More entranced by their cocks sliding together and providing him delicious friction as he fucks his own fist, Felix’s eyes are squeezed shut as he gets himself off like this. 

Sure, he wants to get Seungmin off, but he thinks he’s allowed to feel selfish for a bit. “Fuck,” Felix groans lowly. “You gonna come? I’m close.”

“Yeah,” Seungmin says breathily, cock twitching from Felix’s deep, raspy voice. 

There’s an otherwise awkward silence between them, aside from the sound of skin on skin, made wet from Felix’s spit, until he comes with a loud gasp. His release spurts weakly onto his bare thigh, painting the skin with white streaks. Seungmin groans brokenly as he comes too, his come mixing with Felix’s on his thigh. Felix milks their cocks with insistent pumps till Seungmin begins to whine from the overstimulation. 

Felix clambers off of Seungmin as the latter grabs tissues off his nightstand, stumbling as he’s unsure if he should clean Felix up or let him do it himself. Felix only grins at him, taking the tissues from Seungmin’s hand as he cleans his thigh. 

“Are we still going to work?” Seungmin asks, when they’ve both caught their breath. Seungmin gets off the bed, grabbing the clothes he’d tossed into a pile onto the floor and pulls them on. Felix sighs, laying back against Seungmin’s bed. 

“I don’t wanna, but I’m too tired to leave,” Felix yawns. Seungmin’s bed is pretty comfortable, and he only gets to acknowledge it now, when he’s not drunk as hell. “Wanna keep playing?”

Seungmin makes a strange noise in his throat, coupled with a bewildered look. Felix laughs loudly. “On the Switch, dumbass.”

Seungmin’s mouth falls into a small ‘o’. “Okay. I can drive you back to the dorm later.”

“Sweet, thanks man,” Felix acknowledges, pulling his Switch forward and moving over, so there’s enough space for Seungmin. He pats the spot next to him on the sheets. “Come on, join me.”

Seungmin seems to falter for a moment, before inevitably joining Felix in the bed and snatching a joycon out of Felix’s hand.

+

Felix doesn’t want to admit it, but it soon became a routine. For the four week duration of their project, they’d gotten off together, not saying much else to each other. Felix just needed to touch Seungmin, caress his thigh a little too high up, and Seungmin would be pushing him into the sheets and touching him, albeit a little awkwardly. He’ll blame that on Seungmin’s inexperience.

The first week, they’d done the same thing, now with Seungmin gripping both their cocks tightly as he’d jerked them off, coming all over Felix’s bare stomach.

The second week, Felix had begged to take Seungmin into his mouth, the red-haired man fucking Felix’s face and coming down his throat with a sweet moan. Felix came in his pants that day. Seungmin had to lend him boxers and sweats so he could go home, sharing tense smiles as Felix had gotten out of Seungmin’s car. 

The third week, Seungmin had pleaded to suck Felix off, and they’d ended up 69-ing in bed, with Felix spreading Seungmin’s cheeks and eating him out, till his rim was puffy and slick with spit. 

When he’d finally convinced Seungmin to fuck him the fourth time they’d met at Seungmin’s apartment, the latter was thoroughly unprepared as Felix moaned in his ear. He had sputtered, explained that he’d ran out of condoms (Which twenty-year-old living alone _doesn’t_ have condoms? Seungmin, apparently.) and Felix had just laughed, digging into his backpack for one he’d stashed somewhere. Seungmin was thoroughly surprised that he’d come prepared, even though Felix had told him that he wasn’t prepared _for him,_ but was prepared in general. 

After a sloppy blowjob from Seungmin and a particularly hot make-out session, Felix had finally laid back in Seungmin’s pillows, propping his ass up as Seungmin slid the condom on, staring dumbly as Felix had fingered himself open. Seungmin looked silly like that, watching in awe as Felix struggled to reach further into himself with his small hands. 

Seungmin had pulled Felix’s fingers out of him, lubing his own fingers up with the bottle laid next to Felix as he slid two slender fingers in with ease. Felix whines as he instructed Seungmin with stretching him open, body jerking impulsively as the rough pads of Seungmin’s fingers grazed over his prostate.

Seungmin was a devil, he had learnt that week, massaging his prostate intently just to see Felix squirm. 

When Seungmin had finally sunk into Felix, Felix had sighed in relief at the stretch, finally filled up again after months of not getting laid. Seungmin grunts as he rolls his hips and thrusts into Felix, with surprising fluidity. He was good, and Felix was a little shocked.

“Chan must’ve taught you well, huh,” Felix had said in passing, only realising what he had said after the words left his lips. Seungmin’s hips faltered for a moment, Felix wincing internally and cursing himself for bringing it up.

“Yeah,” Seungmin had said. “It feels good, right?”

Felix nodded, urging Seungmin to keep fucking him as he wrapped his legs around Seungmin’s waist. 

As good as it had felt, Felix had fucked up majorly. He was about to come, Seungmin jerking him off hastily in time with his thrusts. 

His cock twitched and came in thick, white strips on his abdomen, and had moaned Chan’s name as he’d done so. Seungmin’s hips stopped fully with that. Ah, shit.

He opened his eyes quickly, not really sure when he’d shut them, facing Seungmin’s slightly shocked look. Seungmin had pulled out silently and tugged the condom off his cock, jerking himself off quickly and came on Felix’s stomach. 

Seungmin had still cleaned Felix up, albeit silently, before telling him to take a shower, take his stuff and leave. 

He had severely fucked up.

And they’d just picked up texting too, aside from the project. When they’d had sex, sure, they didn’t speak much, but Felix wasn’t really a talker during sex, and Seungmin didn’t seem to be either. God, this was awkward. Felix grew needy without Seungmin even for a couple of days and he didn’t think it was healthy. 

Felix didn’t dare text Seungmin, and was surprised to see his contact pop up and a vague “We need to talk.” 

They meet after their respective last classes, Seungmin coming up to him with hesitation. “You can use me for sex. No strings attached.”

“What?”

“I can tell you haven’t really gotten over Chan. If fucking me and picturing me as Chan will help you with that, then we should do it.”

Felix blinks quickly, unable to process Seungmin’s words. His heart stirs to agree, but his mind calms his eager body down. He can’t even argue with Seungmin. “This- I-” 

“I miss fooling around with you, Felix. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Felix doesn’t usually have a big ego, but he’ll be honest -- that just inflated it. Does he want to admit the same? No, but he’ll take the fact that Seungmin wants to help him get over Chan in a fully physical manner, because fuck being a responsible adult and working through feelings. Even if he is getting used to being friends with Chan again, with them beginning to go back to hanging out as per usual, he won’t pass up on a chance like this.

+

“Fuck, fuck!” Felix moans. Seungmin’s ramming into him and has Felix’s legs propped up on his shoulders. Seungmin reaches so deep into him, fills him up so well, and Felix can’t help but keep making noise. He’s still wary, not wanting to let the wrong name slip, out of pure guilt. But, Seungmin’s already given him permission, so he lets himself indulge. Chan’s taught Seungmin, hasn’t he? It’s only fair to assume Seungmin fucks like him too. 

So Felix indulges, pretends his legs are hooked over Chan’s broad shoulders, imagines the cock fucking him thoroughly is Chan’s, that the big hands gripping his hips are Chan’s. With that thought, Felix comes embarrassingly quickly, and lets Seungmin fuck into him till he spills into the condom too. 

They’re in Felix’s dorm, Seungmin almost collapsing onto him as they catch their breaths, heaving and gasping for air. Seungmin slips out of Felix and disposes of the condom, cleaning himself and Felix up before he puts his clothes back on and leaves without saying much else, given that Felix doesn’t have much to stay either. 

He always feels a little lonely after sex, given that he’s more of the clingy kind. The next time they have sex only a couple of days later, Felix urges Seungmin to stay, clinging onto him tight as Seungmin had worn him out, properly edging him a couple of times before finally letting him come, then making him come again on his cock. Felix didn’t think he’d like it that much, but his sore ass and spent cock would say otherwise. Felix doesn’t have much to say as Seungmin nestles into the single bed awkwardly next to him, but he enjoys the comfort of a warm body next to him. Having pictured Chan when he had had Seungmin’s cock inside him, Felix let his orgasm-hazy mind wander about post-sex cuddling with Chan.

Felix decides that it’s a little too awkward to have Seungmin fuck him in missionary, so he suggests Seungmin fuck him doggy style this time. Felix’s thoughts can run wild now, even though he struggles to fully form an ideal picture of Chan fucking him in his head. The image is hazy, only a rough silhouette resembling Chan, fucking him as his his arms and legs shake from the pleasure. 

The people living around him have begun to complain, probably from the loud moans and wet slapping of skin on skin, with the bed thumping loudly against the wall. He’d heard whispers in the communal bathrooms, once when he’d limped out of his room after Seungmin had railed him proper, and his RA had even knocked on his door and politely told him to keep it down. 

He didn’t call Seungmin for a couple of days after that, a little too embarrassed to do so. He explained the situation to Seungmin when he had finally asked, and Felix realised that they could go over to Seungmin’s, despite Felix having to travel back and forth. Seungmin offered to drive him back to his dorm as per usual, and Felix couldn’t possibly deny that.

They barely make it into Seungmin’s apartment before their hands are on each other, taking off each other’s clothes and Seungmin pushes Felix onto the bed. They waste no time, Seungmin fingering Felix quickly but thoroughly, as Felix strokes Seungmin’s cock. 

Felix laughs as Seungmin struggles to open the condom packet with lube-covered fingers, taking it from him and rolling it down Seungmin’s cock. Seungmin’s hands move to his hips, ready to flip Felix onto his stomach, but Felix catches him off guard, flipping Seungmin back against the pillows.

“Wanna try something,” Felix says simply, crawling over Seungmin’s bare body. He’s confused, but his eyes widen as Felix lines himself up with Seungmin’s cock, facing away from Seungmin as he sinks down on Seungmin with ease.

Felix takes Seungmin in fully, leaning back against Seungmin’s chest before murmuring in his low voice, for Seungmin to fuck him. Seungmin’s hands reach for Felix’s hips tentatively, holding the bottom steady as he pounds into Felix.

He’s thoroughly shocked. Seungmin’s legs don’t shake as he essentially props the both of them up so he can fuck into Felix, in a surprising display of his strength. Seungmin rails him until Felix’s small body is shaking, coming all over his chest as Seungmin’s unrelenting thrusts push him over the brink. Seungmin comes with a couple more thrusts, filling up the condom with his cock buried deep inside Felix, and they collapse onto Seungmin’s bed, limbs tangled and sandwiched together. 

“Jesus Christ,” Felix groans finally, breathing heavily. “That was like, the best sex of my life.”

“Well I’m flattered,” Seungmin can barely get out, eyes widening comically as Felix leans back to kiss him, licking coyly into Seungmin’s mouth. Seungmin kisses him back fiercely, and Felix’s head spins a little as Seungmin’s hands begin to roam his torso once more. Felix hums as Seungmin reaches to pinch his nipples, squirming atop the other man with his cock still in him. 

Seungmin finally pulls out of him, now soft as he tosses the used condom and the tissues he’d cleaned them with. Felix lays in the bed, limbs splayed against the smooth material of Seungmin’s bedsheets. “I’m surprised, actually,” Seungmin murmurs.

“What about?”

Seungmin laughs under his breath. “That you’re willing to kiss me but won’t even look at me during sex.” 

Felix is stunned. He looks at Seungmin. Seungmin’s sad, something Felix can’t really explain properly or put into words, but there seems to be regret, almost lamentable, in his eyes. 

“Well, I wouldn’t mind looking at you now,” Felix blurts without thinking. Seungmin casts him a disbelieving look. “I don’t… I didn’t think about Chan this time.”

Seungmin blinks, lower lip drawn in and bitten, seemingly unsure of how to respond. “Okay,” He says simply. “Do you want to cuddle? Or I could just drive you back to the dorms.”

Felix reaches out for Seungmin, the taller man clambering back into bed with him. Their skin is sticky, but Felix’s arm goes to wrap around Seungmin’s torso, pulling their bodies closer as he rests his head against his chest. Seungmin’s arm wraps around Felix’s body casually, draped over his shoulder. Body feeling too limp to move, Felix is comfortable settling into Seungmin’s bed and resting against him, the two falling asleep like that quickly.

They take a shower together when they wake up, about a half hour later. Sleeping naked gets cold, and he feels a little too sticky. It’s a little too intimate for Felix’s liking, but Felix sucks Seungmin off in the shower and he comes down his throat and everything’s fine. 

As Seungmin drives him back to the dorms, they don’t speak much, as Felix has too much on his mind. He had enjoyed sex with Seungmin. No fantasizing about Chan, enjoying his time with just Seungmin. It was weird. He’d once hated this man, and now they were fucking on a weekly basis. Seungmin was good. Rather than helping him get over Chan, Felix is just thinking more about Seungmin now. Maybe Seungmin’s proposition wasn’t too bad after all. 

+

Hands resting on Seungmin’s somewhat defined chest, Felix moans as he thrusts back down onto Seungmin’s cock. It hadn’t taken much convincing to let him ride Seungmin, and he genuinely enjoys this. Seeing Seungmin squirm under him, unable to keep his cool as Felix bounces on his cock? He’s never been so thrilled to make someone feel this good, like, ever. 

Seungmin’s slender hands hold his waist tightly, giving him some semblance of control and stability even as Felix takes charge, not even letting Seungmin thrust up into him. Seungmin’s making so much noise, needy whimpers and groans escaping past his lips -- it drives Felix crazy. 

And so he fucks himself on Seungmin’s cock with even more intent and determination, indulging in the wet squelch and how Seungmin fills him up so well. 

“Felix, fuck, I-!” Seungmin babbles mindlessly as Felix angles his hips differently and tightens around Seungmin, and then he’s spilling into the condom.

Felix smirks down at Seungmin as his cock twitches inside of him, milking him dry as he continues thrusting down. “Needy,” Felix laughs, but it dies on his tongue as Seungmin’s hand wraps around his painfully hard cock.

Seungmin’s slender fingers tighten around him, stroking Felix eagerly, the rough pad of his thumb rubbing at the sensitive skin under the head of his cock. Felix’s mouth falls open, thrusts becoming more irregular as Seungmin touches him, the taller man leaning up to kiss him. 

He’s too occupied, so he’s glad Seungmin takes charge with the kiss, licking into his mouth and letting their tongues slide together hotly. Felix gasps, finally coming all over Seungmin’s chest as his cock twitches, spent.

They don’t break the kiss even as Felix pulls off of Seungmin, gingerly so as to not aggravate either of them, and Felix lays next to Seungmin in bed. They finally part, chests heaving as they catch their breaths, hot air mixing between them as their lips barely part. 

Seungmin, finally regaining some sense in his body, leans over to clean Felix then himself, unwilling to have both of them remain sticky and gross in the bed. They cuddle for a bit before Felix drags Seungmin by the hand into the shower. Seungmin offers to shampoo his hair and he graciously offers to do the same. 

They cuddle for a while more. Felix asks Seungmin about his major, and they bounce off of each other’s questions comfortably. They only get up when the sun's set, orange light filtering into Seungmin’s room through the window, when Felix’s stomach growls loudly. They laugh and Seungmin offers to get dinner with him, but Felix doesn’t want to drive out and wait to get dinner. They agree on raiding Seungmin’s ramen stash, Felix trailing after Seungmin into the kitchen to watch the taller man cook. 

Right as he’s about to get out of the car, Seungmin having driven him back to the dorms, he stops him, holding onto his wrist. Felix looks back with concern, and Seungmin has a look on his face he can’t quite make out. Seungmin puts a hand on the back of his neck, leaning forward slowly and looking deep into Felix’s eyes.

Oh, God.

He’s terrified, unsure, but he can’t help but let Seungmin pull him closer, can’t help but lean into Seungmin and let their lips press together, soft and plush. His eyes flutter shut, letting his lips meld with Seungmin’s sweetly.

Felix doesn’t know what this means. 

The kiss ends all too quickly. 

“Goodnight, Felix,” Seungmin says quietly, breathy against Felix’s pink lips. His eyes twinkle, even in the artificial yellow light in the car. The overhead light casts a strange shadow on Seungmin’s face, but he notes the mole on his cheek, how he looks so pretty. 

“Goodnight, Seungmin,” Felix draws away, Seungmin’s hand falling as he gets out of the car, standing to the side as Seungmin drives off.

Oh, God.

Grumbling as he flops face first into his bed, his head spins with the events from mere minutes ago, and the stuff that happened at Seungmin’s. No disdain, no disgust, just simple enjoyment and pleasure being domestic with Seungmin. They could chat casually, ate together casually, showered together casually. Kissed casually.

Except that last kiss. That last kiss was anything but casual. He couldn’t discern the look in Seungmin’s eyes, no, but he had kissed him so tenderly, so lovingly, and he can’t help but be a little scared.

It was no longer about Chan. Now, it was just Seungmin. Seungmin who fucked him well. Seungmin who took such good care of him. Seungmin who made sure he was clean and well-fed. Seungmin who drove him home and made sure he was safe. 

Seungmin. 

What was this supposed to mean? Why had they showered together? Why had they cooked ramen together, and sat down to eat and chatted so casually, so affectionately? 

Why had he kissed Seungmin back? 

Felix lets out a confused whine, pushing the swimming thoughts into the back of his mind. Not today.

For now, he burrows into his sheets, face buried into his pillow, drifting off restlessly to sleep.

+

Sunlight filters through Seungmin’s window, and Felix looks up at him. God, he’s gorgeous. The light surrounds him and makes him look almost angelic, accentuating his stature -- sturdy yet petite, arms firm coupled with his small waist. He towers over Felix, as he lays against Seungmin’s pillows. 

They’re fully naked, Seungmin leaning down to press his body closer to Felix’s. He thrusts languidly into him, 

hips rolling into him with intent. “I love you, Lixie,” Seungmin rasps into his ear.

“I love you too, Minnie,” Felix hears himself say, feeling himself getting stretched open on Seungmin’s cock. It’s an out-of-body experience, like he’s watching from the corner as him and Seungmin fuck, but feeling himself under him, getting fucked at the same time. 

Felix leans to press their lips together, kissing sloppily as Seungmin reaches between their slick bodies to tug at Felix’s cock. He’s moaning into Seungmin’s mouth, Seungmin swallowing his pleasured noises up greedily. 

There’s a heady feeling as he comes all over their chests, Seungmin filling him up. God, he hadn’t even realised Seungmin had gone in without a condom, his come painting his walls thoroughly, pumping him full of come. 

Felix jolts awake to the blaring of his alarm, and a sticky feeling in his shorts. Fuck. 

  
  


He’s a little shaken by the wet dream. So detailed, and specific, and affectionate. Felix doesn’t text Seungmin for sex for the next couple of days, responding irregularly as Seungmin asks him about school. 

Felix can’t bring himself to sit away from Seungmin in Economics, but he can’t deny his awkwardness when he sits next to him. He can’t focus on the class either, too preoccupied in his mind.

Seungmin nudges him with his elbow, causing Felix to startle. “What’s up with you?” 

“Nothing, sorry, I just wasn’t paying attention-”

“I’ve noticed, Lix,” Seungmin pouts. “What’s going on in that pretty little head?” He says with a teasing smile, tapping Felix’s head softly with his finger. 

Felix can’t help but smile with that.

“Do you wanna come over later?” Seungmin asks softly.

Felix can’t say no, not to Seungmin.

+

He doesn’t know what overcomes him. Once they get into Seungmin’s apartment, Felix is busy pinning Seungmin to the wall, kissing him needily, as his hands flit down to undo the fly of Seungmin’s jeans.

Seungmin isn’t kissing back, despite him filling up considerably under Felix’s touch. What’s happening?

“Lix, wait,” Seungmin pushes Felix off, frowning. Felix doesn’t relent, not yet. He knows he can make Seungmin feel good, he just has to-- 

“Jesus, Felix!” Seungmin raises his voice. Felix stops in his tracks, finally deflating as he lets Seungmin go. “I just need to talk to you. I didn’t ask you over for sex.”

“But that’s what we always do?” 

“Yeah, I can’t anymore. I can’t do ‘just sex’ anymore,” Seungmin frazzledly gestures, air quotes and all. He sighs. “I like you too much for this to be a no-strings-attached deal. I don’t want to be used like a sex doll, a top for you to slap a face on anymore. I can’t, Felix.”

What? 

“Is that why you kissed me that night?” 

Seungmin nods, a little too sadly for Felix’s liking. “And you kissed me back, so I thought something could happen between us! But if it’s just going to be sex then I’ll have to ask you to leave, Felix.” 

“No! I don’t want to,” Felix blurts. “It’s not just about the sex anymore, Minnie. I really liked kissing you.”

Seungmin looks at Felix, unconvinced.

“I like that you always take care of me, and always drive me back to the dorm even if it’s a hassle. You cook me food and we shower together and I like that a lot and I like you a lot, and I think the wet dream I had about you couldn’t be a mistake because you’ve been the sweetest to me-”

Seungmin leans forward to kiss Felix again, the latter melting eagerly into Seungmin’s touch, kissing him with ferocity. God, how he’s wanted this. Seungmin’s cheeks are wet, and God, his are too, and they kiss till they’re breathless and their cheeks are dusted pink and their lips bitten red. 

That had been the first time he’d admitted feeling _something_ for Seungmin aloud. And God, did it feel good. It was exhilarating, and made his head spin, but kissing Seungmin made him feel like that too. 

Felix presses their foreheads together, staring into Seungmin’s warm eyes. Even with the circumstances, he thinks, he’s chosen the right guy.

They don’t have sex. Instead, they sit on Seungmin’s couch the rest of the day, huddled up with blankets and pillows and in each other’s warmth, sharing fleeting kisses as they watch half-decent sit-com reruns on the TV. They order takeout, sitting comfortably together as they eat. Felix sleeps over that night, tucked in Seungmin’s arms under the covers. 

Felix wakes up in Seungmin’s arms, embarrassed and wiping the drool away from the corner on his lip, a wet spot on Seungmin’s shirt. Seungmin laughs under his breath, pressing a kiss to Felix’s forehead. “Morning,” Seungmin rasps. Felix’s cheeks heat up, because God, that’s kinda hot. “Do you wanna go on a date?”

It’s a Saturday, and he wouldn’t be doing anything else, so he says yes, of course he does. After they shower, Felix steals one of Seungmin’s fluffy sweaters and his jeans, not too surprised the clothes fit him well. They go to see a movie, and end up making out in the back row like a couple of horny teenagers. They hold hands on the way out. 

They hold hands while Seungmin drives him home, and on the next few dates they go on. Seungmin’s clearly into him, and he’s into Seungmin too -- Felix tells him this explicitly, but Seungmin insists he’s a purist and _has_ to take Felix out on at least five dates before he asks him to be his boyfriend.

He realises, clearer than ever, as Seungmin kisses him goodnight and sends him back to the dorm, to when Seungmin gets him coffee in the mornings, to when Seungmin cuddles him as they fall asleep on the couch or in his bed, that he likes Seungmin. A lot.

And on the fifth date, Felix grumbles and kisses Seungmin, when the latter finally asks him out. He pouts as Seungmin grins at him, because finally, _finally_ , he can call Seungmin his. 

Felix coaxes Seungmin into his bed, having ended up back at Seungmin's after getting dinner. He pulls Seungmin with him to fall back onto the bed, Seungmin holding his waist as they kiss sweetly. Felix wraps his legs around Seungmin’s lower half, his hands unbuttoning under Seungmin’s nice shirt and untucking it from his jeans, pushing it off his slender frame. 

He’s missed this. Honestly, he’s more shocked that he’s gone almost a week without trying to get into Seungmin’s pants. Yeah, he’s trying to learn more about Seungmin, but he can’t help that he’s horny like, all the time. 

He thinks Seungmin can read his mind, as he rubs at Felix’s crotch through his jeans, his cock stirring with interest as the blood rushes down south. Seungmin leans forward, can’t help himself as he ruts into Felix’s crotch, and Felix can feel just how hard he is. “Needy,” Felix teases, and Seungmin mouths his words as he rolls his eyes.

“Do you want me to fuck you or not,” Seungmin huffs in more of a statement than a question, undoing the fly of Felix’s jeans and pushes them off along with his boxers. He takes the chance to squeeze at Felix’s ass, making him squeak before he drops them into a pile on the floor.

“Please,” Felix whines playfully, dragging out the vowel. Seungmin gets up and off him, pulling the rest of his clothes off as he watches Felix tug at his cock mindlessly. 

Seungmin gathers the lube and a condom, tossing it onto the bed next to Felix’s bottomless body. He moves to take off his own shirt, but Seungmin stops him. “What, I can’t take off my shirt?” 

Seungmin shakes his head, leaning down to peck at Felix’s lips. “Don’t. You look hot.” 

It’s a black band t-shirt, nothing too fancy, but Felix likes the attention too much. “Fine, but just know I’m gonna steal your clothes later.” 

Seungmin gives him a look. “You already do, so it’s not any different,” He snorts, making Felix laugh as well.

He reaches for the condom as Felix gets comfy, the latter stopping him. “No condom,” Felix states. “Not like we’ve been fucking anyone else.” He looks at him, as if to get Seungmin’s approval.

Seungmin stutters for a moment, his brain finally processing it, before he tosses the condom aside. He grins. “Okay. You know that means I’m going to come inside you, right?”

“Yeah,” Felix shrugs. “As long as you clean me out later we’re all good.” Felix singsongs, Seungmin humming his approval as he uncaps the slightly sticky bottle of lube. Lubing his fingers up and wastes no time in teasing Felix’s hole, Felix jolts a little at the cool liquid, soon relaxing as Seungmin rubs at his rim, getting him warmed up. 

“I wanna suck your dick,” Felix says suddenly, right as Seungmin’s prodding at Felix’s puckered, slick hole. 

“Now?” Seungmin frowns concernedly, face softening as he sees Felix light up and nod enthusiastically. 

Felix can’t help it, Seungmin’s cock looks like it needs it. The head of his cock is red and he looks like he’s going to burst, and maybe he’s being a little selfish because he just wants Seungmin in his mouth.

Seungmin grumbles something about a second round even as he moves forward so his dick hangs in front of Felix’s face, both of them knowing Seungmin can’t say no to him. Felix takes the tip between his lips eagerly, toying at it with his tongue and his plush lips. Seungmin immediately groans at the touch, letting Felix work down his length. 

His breath picks up as Felix sucks him off, teeth grazing against his length barely, gripping the sheets from the pleasure. Seungmin barely writhes out of Felix’s iron grip on his thighs as he blows him, turning around so he doesn’t have to waste the lube already on his fingers, sinking his index finger into Felix’s awaiting hole.

“Fuck,” Felix moans around Seungmin, craning his neck to swallow around him as Seungmin slowly enters him, the digit wiggling around inside him as he tries to find his prostate.

And find it Seungmin does, pretty quickly too -- making Felix squeal as Seungmin rubs at the swollen spot. Felix takes him particularly deep then, Seungmin’s dick hitting the back of Felix’s throat, causing him to gag. “Jesus, Lix, take it slow. I’m gonna come before I even get to fuck you.”

Felix pulls off, breathless, chest heaving under Seungmin. “Kinky.” 

“Shut up, baby,” Seungmin coos, thrusting his finger into Felix with the remark. This makes Felix gasp, and Seungmin then slides in a second with a cocky smirk. Felix pushes Seungmin off of him, catching his breath while Seungmin’s fingers are still in him. 

“It’s cute when you call me baby,” Felix giggles, moaning as Seungmin spreads his fingers in him, coaxing him open.

Seungmin hums. “Noted for future reference.”

“You sound like a nerd.”

“Are you sure you want to get fucked today? You’re not getting anywhere with an attitude like that,” Seungmin warns in a joking tone. He’s sitting casually next to Felix’s splayed-out body, cocking his wrist as he fingers Felix with intent. “You’re on thin ice, babe.”

Felix pouts, whines an apology, making grabby hands for Seungmin to kiss him. Seungmin rolls his eyes playfully, but leans down to press their lips together anyway. Seungmin works him up to three fingers, before Felix is squirming and begging for Seungmin to _finally_ fuck him. 

Seungmin finally pushes in with little disturbance, Felix gasping under him, gripping at the sheets as Seungmin fills him up slowly. Seungmin grinds his hips in careful circles, Felix mewling with pleasure as Seungmin holds onto his waist almost painfully tight.

His thrusts are rhythmic, causing Felix to jerk with every snap of his hips, babbling loudly alongside the slap of skin on skin. Seungmin angles his cock a little to the side, making Felix moan even louder as the head brushes his prostate. 

“Fuck, it feels so good, Minnie,” Felix is almost crying now. “Wanna come so bad.” 

Seungmin wraps his fingers around the base of Felix’s cock, hips still unrelenting. Felix whines, and Seungmin shushes him, his voice sickly sweet as he says, “Let me fill you up first, sweetheart. Then you can make a mess of yourself.”

Felix groans, eyes rolling into the back of his head as his mouth falls open. The pressure in his gut is building, because Seungmin’s putting off his orgasm, but God, the thought of Seungmin pumping him full of come is too good. 

He convulses, cock twitching incessantly, but no fluid aside from the precome already dribbling from his tip comes out. Felix is as confused as Seungmin, his gaze flitting between his still-hard cock and Seungmin’s eyes. “Did you just-?”

“I think so,” Felix says dumbfoundedly. Seungmin chuckles at the feat, noting it with a smug grin on his face as he picks up his thrusts once more. 

“You’re so fucking hot,” Seungmin sighs, leaning down to kiss Felix. It’s sloppy because Seungmin’s multitasking, with too much teeth and spit, but Felix indulges in it all the same as his hands move to cup Seungmin’s face. 

“Fuck, I love you,” Felix groans, despite Seungmin’s panicked eyes going to meet Felix’s hurriedly. Seungmin’s hips slow, but Felix is smiling bright, and Seungmin’s eyes are welling up with tears. 

“You mean that?” 

“Yes, Kim Seungmin. I fucking love you,” Felix laughs, Seungmin burying his face into Felix’s shoulder. 

“I never thought this day would come,” Seungmin’s voice is wet, speckling kisses to Felix’s neck between kisses. “I love you so much, holy shit.”

Their lips meet again briefly, almost with relief, and Seungmin’s hips pick up, almost a breakneck speed. “I’m so close. Come for me, Felix. Please.”

Felix moans, loving the feeling when Seungmin finally comes inside him, hot release coating his walls, making him come too, in long, white stripes all over Seungmin’s and his own stomachs.

They lock lips again, barely able to kiss for long as they struggle to catch their breaths, cheeks wet from their tears in relief, because they finally have each other. 

  
  


( “Lix?” Seungmin asks when they’re in the bathtub, fingers pruny from the soapy water as they cuddle.

“Yeah, babe?” 

“Do you wanna be my boyfriend?”

Felix hums, pretends like he genuinely has to consider it. “I dunno, man. That’s kinda gay.”

Seungmin gapes incredulously. “We literally just professed our love for each other!”

Felix laughs loudly, ringing in the space of the bathroom. “Yes, dumbass! Of course I’ll be your boyfriend.”

Felix leans back to kiss Seungmin once more. And if they give each other handjobs in the bath after that, no one has to know but them. )

**Author's Note:**

> weehoo please let me know what you thought by leaving a comment or a kudos! any feedback is appreciated really, especially since ive worked my ass off for this fic HDNFJDJD :>
> 
> hmu on [nsfw twitter](https://twitter.com/PUPSEUNGMlN)
> 
> no promises but i might write more smut between these two in this universe uwu


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